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"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'So who needs sonar?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"Now how did she know?"

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

'Where my balls go?'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"Curiosity."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'The butler did it.'