Pet Parenting Punster Gifts

Idiot Dog.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Cat Nip.

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"He was a very good boy."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

Dogs and their thoughts