Pet Parenting Faux Pas Pillows

Too Much Coffee Man

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

A Man and His Cat Read the Financial News.

'I've got it written down...'

Witch: 'I've mellowed. Instead of black, do you have a gray cat?'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'What do you say we become vegetarians?'

"Choose wisely. Your choice will be the answers to security questions for the rest of your life."

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."

Bad Dog

"They do very well in a talk show format."

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"Eat grass 'til you puke, then call me in the morning."

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

Tinder for dogs

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

"Just because he's neutered and declawed doesn't mean he's not dangerous."

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"Quick, act casual."

I assume obedience class was a washout then.

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

"Meet my first dog. I've named him 'Security Question.'"

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'

'Your dragon appears to have a nasty cough.'

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"

'Relax... breathe... visualize you inner dog treat...'