Pet Parenting Quirks Pillows

"Just because he's neutered and declawed doesn't mean he's not dangerous."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

He won't sit, but he heels well.

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

'I've got it written down...'

Witch: 'I've mellowed. Instead of black, do you have a gray cat?'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

Too Much Coffee Man

Lucky has an 'out-of-potty' experience.

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'What do you say we become vegetarians?'

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

"Choose wisely. Your choice will be the answers to security questions for the rest of your life."

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."

Snow cones.

'We're not playing hide and seek. I'm just trying to find Marm to take him to the vet.'

Bad Dog

"When you adopt a dog from a rescue centre you never know what bad habits they might have."

"Eat grass 'til you puke, then call me in the morning."

Teacher's pet. 'For an inner city comprehensive.'

Cats and boxes...BOXES!

"Kitty Kins enjoys the little nibbles I take him home."

"I'll hold the kid eventually. I just don't want it to develop a false sense of entitlement."

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"Sure, it's disgusting, but it's nice to have something that needs me."

Frankenstein's Labradoodle

I assume obedience class was a washout then.