Pet Owner Sister Gifts

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

A large leaf falling on a dog

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Pet Entertainers

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

Jumping Dogs

If dogs were psychiatrists.

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

'This refrigerator isn't big enough for the both of us.'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."