Pet Owner Sister Gifts

'We sleep 18 hours a day, eat whenever we want and the rest is all free time. So what's the big difference up here?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

A large leaf falling on a dog

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Pet Entertainers

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

Dog Birthdays

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"My first video sucked. But I figure I've got 8 more chances."

Jumping Dogs

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."