Sibling Of A Pet Lover Gifts

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

A large leaf falling on a dog

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Haute Suture

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

Dog wearing a cone

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Christmas Pets

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

Pet Entertainers

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

Dog Birthdays

Cat king.

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'