Sibling Into Pets Gifts

"Life is just a bowl of water."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

A large leaf falling on a dog

Skeleton playing fetch.

Haute Suture

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Christmas Pets

Dog wearing a cone

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Pet Entertainers

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Cat king.

Dog Birthdays

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...