Pet Networker Pillows

I'll have my people get in touch with your people.

Tamagotchi paralysis.

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Gary! Thank God you're home. The automatic pet feeder seems to be malfunctioning again."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

"You're the perfect candidate! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for perfect candidates at this time."

'Don't you miss the thrill of the chase?'

'Pssst. Go play in your new fun house or you'll hurt daddy's feelings.'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

Dog on Cat.

'Your resume says you are an S.O.B. tell me more about that.'

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"Does he byte?"

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

"Not many here - but he was very popular on social media."

Business Networking Session: 'Sorry I'm late - I'll just log on...'

"I left my computer on, and my virtual pet dog tore up the place."

"I taught him how to speak, shake hands and, as you can see, fetch information."

"It's too easy to lose a business card. A rubber stamp, you'll remember."

"Thanks to separations, divorces and remarriages, I've got 20 grandparents."