Pet Networker Pillows

I'll have my people get in touch with your people.

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

Tamagotchi paralysis.

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"Gary! Thank God you're home. The automatic pet feeder seems to be malfunctioning again."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"Deleted, I'm sure."

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

"You're the perfect candidate! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for perfect candidates at this time."

'Pssst. Go play in your new fun house or you'll hurt daddy's feelings.'

'Don't you miss the thrill of the chase?'

Goldfish funeral

'Your resume says you are an S.O.B. tell me more about that.'

"Does he byte?"

Did you get my "friend request"?

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

Dog on Cat.

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

"Not many here - but he was very popular on social media."

Business Networking Session: 'Sorry I'm late - I'll just log on...'

"I taught him how to speak, shake hands and, as you can see, fetch information."

"I left my computer on, and my virtual pet dog tore up the place."

"It's too easy to lose a business card. A rubber stamp, you'll remember."