Pet Naming Aficionado T-Shirts

"It's David."

Babies vs. Dogs

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Pet Cemetery.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

Baptism Then and Now

Naming that Impala

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

'I'm a gnu, but I think the 'N' is silent.'

Changing house name.

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

'Why did Tarzan name his chimp cheetah?'

'Mozart...as your agent I strongly advise against your choice of stage name...'

'If dogs named themselves...'

"An intruder will be pretty surprised when he meets me pit bull, Jesus."

'We can call it a library, a media center or a resource room, but we are not going to call it an internet cafe.'

"I'd like to know who the heck was in charge of the naming!"

You've renamed your small coffee? It's called a big now. That's absurd! It's the same size - the smallest size! It's marketing hooey! Why not call this napkin a scone?! Careful. Huh? Brilliant! Sale on scones! Oh dear.

"My master has trouble making a decision."

Is-you-is-or-is-you-ain't my baby!

"Not only am I a 'good boy'...but, according to my owner, I'm also a 'sweetie-weetums.'"

"You have to decide, Peter. Am I your significant other or am I your tootsie-wootsie?"

'We've decided to call her 'Whiskers'...'

'I see you've already met Fluffy.'

Lot and his wife adopt a dog...

"We're calling our son Wikipedia, so if he grows up with no entries, he'll at least have his name working for him.'

"Find one that uses only A, D, G, I, M, N, T and will be easier for him to text her when she's a teenager."

'How am I meant to be a lean mean rodent killing machine with a name like 'Twinky'!'

"Look, I'm sorry — I didn't mean to refer to you as 'the dog.'"