Pet Mischief Mitigator Pillows

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"Doc, can you make my bite worse than my bark? You see there's this cat . . ."

"He still doesn't know how to use the litter tray."

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

'Mom, don't worry about the floor. I took my shoes off!'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

'Tsk, the garden's full of the dog's mess again...'

Squeaker Trophies

Wiener Dog Meets a Hot Dog Wiener

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'But I can't take my muddy boots off - I'm not wearing any!'

"...and who might you ask was responsible for this mistake?"

Walking The Dog.

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

'You've got it wrong,luv-it's Fido who's the boozer!'

"I guess she wanted an upright."

"Wait, you've never tried destroying a sofa?!" "Dude, it's so much fun, and harmless." "You've tried catnip, right? Oh, but tons! You have to!" "Cat peer pressure"

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

"Do you have any idea what you've done? There are twelve hundred bottles of cognac on that ship!"

"I'll distract him by pretending to throw a ball. That's when you grab some catnip toys and run."