Pet Mischief Fan Pillows

'You've got it wrong,luv-it's Fido who's the boozer!'

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"Curiosity."

"He still doesn't know how to use the litter tray."

"Charley horse! Charley horse! Charley horse! Charleee!!"

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

"Hock pa-tooie. Hock pa-tooie. Hock pa-tooie."

"Yes, he is a pet detective, and he's here on business."

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

Some Zoomies

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

"...31, 32, 33, 34! Boy o boy, the old lady moving in next door has 34 cats!"

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

'Okay, let me see your hands, your feet, and that wily prehensile tail...'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

'Some people think they're ugly. I think they're appealing!'

"Leo and I know how much you like your Christmas sweater, so we thought we'd make you one ourselves this year."

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

"The Internet is down, so I got bored. They'll understand."

"Oh, stop complaining—you know she's terrified of the nail clippers."

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

"So what would you conclude is the primary cause of aggression in mice?"

Tortoise and his Little Chemist Set

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

'No, not from having children. These are fetch marks.'

Green Fairy

"That's my grandfather chasing cars and biting mailmen. He lived life off-the-leash."

Sign at pet shop reads, 'Warning! Do not buy if seal is broken.'