Pet-loving Diner Gifts

'Waiter, can you tell me where the ladies' tree is, please?'

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"What fly?"

"I won't need a doggie bag."

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'I'm sorry, but the free range chicken escaped.'

"As a dog he's incredible. As a chef he's just okay."

"I knew you'd like this place."

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

No, I can get slow, sick and weak at home

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

"Anything, really. There's almost nothing I won't eat."

"I'm sorry, sir. That's the children's menu."

"This makes a nice change from 'Fetch'!"

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

'Your usual table leg?'

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

No Humans Allowed

The food is just scooped into my dish...no thought to food presentation.

"I'll have what she's having."

'I wish you wouldn't order for both of us.'