Pet Dining Connoisseur Gifts

The food is just scooped into my dish...no thought to food presentation.

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Dog Chow Mein

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"I won't need a doggie bag."

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

'Waiter, can you tell me where the ladies' tree is, please?'

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"We'll have the people food."

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"Not only do these new treats taste like table scraps, they're also good for you."

Sure, it's nice when Master gives us a bone, but frankly, I would prefer a juicy steak...

The Four Basic Food Groups - Dry, moist, biscuit, bone.

"Have you got a book about the proper way of feeding a dog?"

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'

"I'll have whatever I'm hearing being opened in the kitchen."