Pet Dining Connoisseur Pillows

The food is just scooped into my dish...no thought to food presentation.

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

Dog Chow Mein

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

"I won't need a doggie bag."

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

No, I can get slow, sick and weak at home

'Waiter, can you tell me where the ladies' tree is, please?'

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"Not only do these new treats taste like table scraps, they're also good for you."

"We'll have the people food."

"Have you got a book about the proper way of feeding a dog?"

The Four Basic Food Groups - Dry, moist, biscuit, bone.

Sure, it's nice when Master gives us a bone, but frankly, I would prefer a juicy steak...

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'