Pet-loving Chef Gifts

"As a dog he's incredible. As a chef he's just okay."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Homemade dog biscuits.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'Gentlemen, I've just seen the quarterly reports and believe me, I am not wagging my tail!'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Recipes.

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"Let's see....Who had the beef brisket dog biscuit?"

"Just pay attention and you might learn a few new tricks."

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"What smells so good? -- I'm not cooking for you, but for my dog."

"The last thing we need now is to sit around with a hangdog look!"

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

Cooking shows for dogs

"Leave the bowl."

The Four Basic Food Groups - Dry, moist, biscuit, bone.

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'

"Well-done coming right up."

"It's a new cereal for dogs."

"How about an upgrade?"

Dog Food - A Guide.

Street Mix: All the thrill and uncertainty of the sidewalk...right at home!