Pet Linguist Gifts

"Your din-din is in tintin."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Another slander suit!"

I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say "feed me," "walk me," "I need to potty," or "leave me alone," or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout "I'm running!" when the dog is running.

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

"What happened to what cat?"

"I've lived among them my entire life, and I can tell you, 'fetch,' 'roll over,' 'sit,' 'stay,' and 'bad dog,' is the extent of their vocabulary."

Dog-English dictionary.

'Oh, I'm not looking for Gold, I'm checking for bear-traps...'

"Our researchers have discovered that 'E' is the most common, and only, letter in the dolphin alphabet."

"I'm sorry I ever taught him to speak"

Barking as a Second Language.

'Do you know something? If I couldn't eat, I would just die!'

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

"How are we supposed to know what's bothering him when we don't speak bark?"

Prince longed for the good old days when dogs were dogs.

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'I demand a second opinion!'

Dog dictionary/Dog Alphabet.

I've been wanting to introduce you to Herbert for months. I didn't want to scare you. Don't be silly. So what if I've discovered my girlfriend has secretly raised a talking gerbil she pampers, gives back rubs to, and debates international politics with. What's so strange about that? So you're good with it. Get me Dr. Phil.

"You taught me to speak, and now that I'm talking to you, you're all freaked out."

"Other end, Steve. We've already met."

"I think my name is 'stop that' but I don't know for sure."

'There is a unique solution to this conundrum,' said the chicken, 'but in order to be sure, I'll need to cross the road.'

(Woof!) (My word! I believe I'm speaking french!)

'I pose as a concerned citizen, but actually I couldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct.'

"Then Marc from our creative team tells the client to 'like it or lump it' – can you believe that?!"