Pet Hygiene Chuckler Gifts

Where dogs have been before they lick you...

Biofelineism

Bathing the dog

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

World of Cow.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

"I wasn't dead yet."

'Nonsense, Melvin! Who ever heard of a tapeworm that big?'

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

"That's where I do 'my business'."

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

"I keep getting into a flap."

"If she can find all the bones she's buried, she's my next investment counselor."

'Don't ever touch a dog's nose. You never know where those things have been.'

Don't Forget To Lick

Restroom.

"What do you have that you haven't touched?"

'Poor, dumb, ignorant dog! Has no idea we're about to scare him to DEATH!!!'

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

'I was hard to get used to having showers, but the fur-ball problem has finally gone away...'

Post office with 'Most Wanted' dog posters.

'And stop talking to me in that stupid cat voice!'

"Is it true, cows have four stomachs?"

"It's bad enough we males have to sit on the eggs, but now I'm even starting to have hot flashes!"

"I hate tailgaters..."

Very hungery fish jumping out of bowl to get food.

"There ya go. Keep toying with it."