Pet Health Checkup Gifts

"Here's one I spayed earlier"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

Turn your head and laugh.

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"The cape comes off too."

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"You're flying a little bit right now, aren't you?"