Pet-friendly Offices Gifts

'I don't care if you whistle while you work, but others find it disconcerting.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Lumbar support animal

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

InIn by-products.

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."