Pet-friendly Folks Pillows

Irony.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"You're completely screwed up."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'Are we there yet?'

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"Gesundheit!"

'We'll get a head start on goofing off.'

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'My Master is easy to follow - He's wearing odd socks!'

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

White cat on top of a Christmas tree.

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

'We're not following the poodle home.'

Hello City Pound? Please take my dog away.

"Look Dad! I made potty all by myself!"

Landing That Tough Account

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'