Dog People Pillows

"Don't you have a snooze button?"

'My Master is easy to follow - He's wearing odd socks!'

"I really thought 'emotional sport dog' was a typo."

"I feel like I can't trust myself around food."

"Have you ever heard of wireless?"

'Not quite the effect I was going for.'

'At least, we're marooned on a big island: It took me an hour to walk around it...'

Dog & Cat Friends.

"I know how you feel, but you can't just say you're for animal rights except for cats."

"The aggrieved party of this restraining order is right up there."

Dog In Bed Between Lovers

"Sure, you're fine – you get succulent fish, sweet coconut milk, a scratching post and fresh litter. I'm going to die."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Young Frankenstein"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Playing Fetch.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

A Good Batch.

"Pick me!"

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Why do they do that?"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'