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Irony.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"You're completely screwed up."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

'Are we there yet?'

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

'We'll get a head start on goofing off.'

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

"Gesundheit!"

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'My Master is easy to follow - He's wearing odd socks!'

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

White cat on top of a Christmas tree.

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

Landing That Tough Account

"Look Dad! I made potty all by myself!"

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

Hello City Pound? Please take my dog away.

'We're not following the poodle home.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"