Pet Celebrity Handler Pillows

"Winning so many awards is great. The only downside is the puparazzi."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Pushy Dog

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

"He loves to give autographs!"

"I lost my way and wandered through this white hell for five days before your brave rescue dog found me and saved me from starving to death!"

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

'Damn showdog people!'

He Did It!

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."

"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

"That reminds me - it's about time to feed the little fella."

Suddenly Harry regrets ever using anything other than dog treats to motivate his team.

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Broken artefact in the museum

"My first video flopped. Okay. Bad script. But then I did a walk-on for Disney and wound up with a three-video streaming deal."

'Best guard dog we've ever had!'

"Barking's what I do, it's not who I am."

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

"They're always in the last place you look."

Don't forget to feed the python...

"Hon, did you order Alpine?"

"Guess what I learned in band class today?"

"Goddam Dogs."

"Leave the toilet."