Pet Care Planner Pillows

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I was almost that last year."

Dogs

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

Christmas Pets

Babies.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

"Cat park"

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

I'm building a new house here. To my owner over there it's a "pet project." Of course to me, it's just "a project."

Dog Park. Ernie, let me help you navigate the dog park safely. Thanks. Never ask the dalmatian if you can play "Connect the Dots." Don't discuss international politics with the Siberian Husky, or make jokes around the Greyhound. The Saint Bernard does not find it funny if you ask for his blessing. And most importantly, unless you schedule is clear for a week ... yeah? Don't say "yes" when the Lab asks you to play with that ball with him!

Too cute for comfort.

"Don't be silly, it's not an aquarium: It's my pantry..."

'Halloween. Why should cats have all the fun?'

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

'To make a long story short, your biological clock has jet lag.'

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

"I borrowed it from my neighbor, he's a big tennis guy."

"We're having cocktails, you should come by!"

"The wait is killing me so I'm taking a day off from looking forward to Halloween."

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

It's time to treat your dog to Le Bon Chien.

Bus stop in the desert - 'It wouldn't hurt to wait around for a little while.'