Pet Care Hilarity Gifts

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"I think we feed to many vitamins to Tweety"

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

"I wasn't dead yet."

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'

Strictly Ornamental.

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

'Here! I saved his anal sacs for you.'

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

'If he has worms can we take him fishing?'

The message was clear: Pay up or die. Or maybe it was: Change the water.

'You srow ze glove in my face?...'

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'

'I see you tried giving your cat a bath, again.'

'Okay, Claudia, you're right, next time I'll buy freshly frozen rats!'

"The living room aquarium? No, I have't bee near it."

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

"Yes, that's water retention."

'What makes you think he's got worms?'

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

'Oh, goodie! — it's about time somebody invented a flea collar!'

Mrs Claus giving Rudolph a wash

Very hungery fish jumping out of bowl to get food.

'Hey! What happened to my chili?'

"You don't think the parrot is too close to the gas fire, do you, dear?"