Pet Behavior Pillows

"I'll fetch a stick, a frisbee and a tennis ball, but I draw the line at dryer balls."

"It's her first snowman."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"He has barking issues."

'Dogs are nothing but kiss-ups.'

The difference between cats and dogs.

'Gross! That guy is letting his dog lick him right on the mouth!'

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"Just because he's neutered and declawed doesn't mean he's not dangerous."

"Sometimes I'm not sure if I chase my tail or my tail chases me."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Why do they do that?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Santa Claus's Mail

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'