Animal Behavior Pillows

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

"Toilet or tap?"

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

"He's a bird-dog."

"Don't preted to hibernate when I'm talking to you."

Dog training

Pavlov's Cat: 'Dream on Buddy.'

'I know it sounds weird, Bill, but it's true! When I focus on what I can BRING to the feeding frenzy instead of what I get from it, I feel a whole lot better about myself!'

Identity Crisis Support Group

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Why Are You Following Me?

'Oi! There's a pecking order around here, you know.'

"You're in my spot!"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Okay, are you ready for your final exam?'

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

Donkey Fights

'If we didn't do so well in this easy box, they wouldn't have given us this complicated box.'

"And then it hit me: I'm salivating over a goddam bell."

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'I went to obedience school, but I can't say I've ever had occasion to use anything I learned there.'

"Every year, the zebras get faster and faster."

Dogs sniffing each other. "Try gettign that sort of information on the internet."

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"And you're saying they get paid big money to chase a ball."

Self examination.

'Say, did you know that we actually only use a very small portion of our brain?'

"Hold still! It says here understanding body language is key to knowing your cat."

'We don't devour, Mirabelle: we empower.'

'Your voice says 'no' but your tail says 'yes'.'

"I thought we'd decided to go with the maple."

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

"Yes, it was a lovely meal wasn't it? I used a marvellous new caterer called 'pest control'."

"OK, once again, for Bob's benefit: Hunting in a pack only works if everybody sticks to the plan!"