Animal Behavior Studies Pillows

"A Good, But Not a Great Ape"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Romantic Giraffes

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."