Animal Behavior Studies Gifts

"A Good, But Not a Great Ape"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Why do they do that?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

Romantic Giraffes

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."