Animal Studies Gifts

'We're researching 'road rage'.'

"Obviously somebody contaminated the sample, Kevin."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

The control group is non-smoking!

'Sorry, you can't smoke in the control group.'

'Primate speech? Down the hall.'

"I was curious, so I went to the University to listen to a course on Radar techniques..."

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

'All right. Where'd you get the steroids?'

Taxidermist: 'Can I phone you back? I'm up to my elbows right now.'

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

'Hey - It says here, we're related!'

"He's pretty good at rote categorization and single-object relational tasks, but he's not so hot at differentiating between representational and associational signs, and he's very weak on syntax."

'She had to dissect a whale in school today.'

'Go right ahead. I know you're bred to be mean and vicious, just as I'm bred to be altruistic.'

At last the professor had succeded in crossing a frog with a cat.

'I know this place like the hand of my back.'

"If he presses the first lever, some food comes out; the second level, some candy comes out; the third lever, a female mouse comes out. After a week, he's looking for another lever."

"When they stay home, we stay out!"

"Sorry, kiddo. Your old man has to work so you can go to the best drug trials in the country."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Bears catching fish

A day at the transgenic races

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

"That, believe it or not, is also a mammal."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

The life of penguins.

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'Get me everything you have on bunny rabbits.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'...at least it's done something for our image.'