Canine Behavior Pillows

"Yes, I'm talking to you. I believe you're the only Sparky in the house."

"They said my barking was becoming inflammatory."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'Ooh he's wagging his tail...I think he likes you.'

"Hi, Stuart, I"m here to let you out..."

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

Man sees couch full of dog, sign says 'No Vacancy'.

'He's a really active dog.'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"If I run a little water, maybe that will help."

"You know you can be tracked."

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

"You're right, you DO smell like a wiener!"

Fido and Fifi

Dog Dreams

"All By Myself, Dad?"

"I don't mind not being lead dog. I get to go with the flow and the view from this end is kind of like watching porn."

"No, that was my barking for a reason bark. This is my barking for no reason bark."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

Spot's favorite game is "hard to pet".

"No, I did not sniff you!"

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

The differences between dogs

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

"Buzz, is it really you? My gosh, how long has it been since we last sniffed butts?"

"Begging's not my thing."

"Did you hear about the dog that ran 100 miles just to retrieve a stick?"

"Chasing squirrels is more art than science."

"And another thing, yesterday when the mailman came, you didn't bark and even wagged your tail!"

Dog with enormous stick.

"Hey. . . that's a bit too friendly, fella!"

"O.K., there's the moon - now give me a nice long howl instead of last night's yip."

Hang Time Fido

"What does 'It looks like you never miss a meal' mean?"

Dogs Sniffing