Pesticide-free Enthusiast Gifts

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

"Of course I wasn't exposed to harmful pesticides as a child. Funny question."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

But is it organic?

At the market

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

"Oh, that poor thing."

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Snow White to witch: 'You're sure it's organic?'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'Ethical farm - none of our produce goes to fast food outlets'.

Superintendent

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

'Is it true? You've been selling your venom to pharmaceutical companies to make anti-venom? Traitor!'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

'These fruits and vegetables are very colorful, large, free of blemishes, pulpy and tasteless.'