Pest-free Living Gifts

'I know living on an abandoned nuclear test site has its advantages - no bugs, no snakes, no univited guests but did it ever occur to you that there's nothing else here either?'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

"Houston, we have a problem."

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

Man using to much bug spray

Good News about winter

'I found the termites!'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Giant slug attacks a city

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Yes!" "Excellent!" The Daily Bug City considers pesticides ban

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

Gardener with window box and giant slug.

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper