Pest Whisperer T-Shirts

"We have raccoons."

"You must have the wrong address."

'Just knock over a couple of garbage cans, and bring us whatever you find.'

'What a lot of flies.'

'Hello, is that Ace Exterminators?'

"Of course there are termites in the basement - they're our kids."

A coffee house full of house flies offers free 'Wi Fly'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

The Busy Gardener

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Foster failure"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Plant Lady

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

The Worm Charmer

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'