Pest Whisperer T-Shirts

"We have raccoons."

"You must have the wrong address."

'Just knock over a couple of garbage cans, and bring us whatever you find.'

'What a lot of flies.'

'Hello, is that Ace Exterminators?'

"Of course there are termites in the basement - they're our kids."

A coffee house full of house flies offers free 'Wi Fly'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

The Busy Gardener

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Plant Lady

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

An Unexpected Guest.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

The Worm Charmer

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"I'm losing my patience with you."