Pest Pursuit Strategist T-Shirts

Man staking out a mouse trap from under a table while the mouse raids the food above him.

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Bees v Wasps

"Seriously?? All these years swimming in shark infested seas, just to catch a few fish, and you're telling me all we needed was a rod and a bucket of bait?"

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

'Go ahead and laugh! But I haven't had a mosquito near me in years.'

'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'

Cheese robot-squad.

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

The joy of killing a mosquito followed by the despair of realizing it already bit you.

"As you can see, our scientists are busy working on retaliation."

'It's gotta be a trap.'

"Try nibblin' through that, you little tree rat!"

June: Aphid, millipedes, weevils,scab, blackleg...and other pests will be active.

Garden Pest Solutions

Sparrow of Prey

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

Grub-skewer sandals.

Career choices for fleas.

"Naturally he's not getting his daily exercise. With the postman on strike there is nobody to chase!"

"It's amazing what you can buy online."

'Caution - this bug makes wide turns.'

'It's too dangerous now, let's just wait until he is alseep...'

'I'm going in.'

'Got it!'

'I thought you were playing hide and seek with Grandma!'

'Do you ever wonder if what we're doing is annoying?'

Gardener's Calendar: Keep an eye open for pests

'Oh no! It looks like we have humans! You know that once they move in, you can never get rid of them!'

'If moths like light so much why do you never see them during the day?'

'Modern technology being what it is, there's a good chance it won't work anyway.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"What you need to do is, find the biggest squirrel in the yard, walk right up to him and shake the dirty walnuts out of him."

"Ignore that, Mrs. Schmidt, it's the oldest trick in their book!"