Personality Enthusiasts Pillows

'You have a dual-personality, sir, and I think we can use both of them.'

"Of course I'm being 'catty'."

"Yeah, I see the outgoing calls, but what about the introverted ones?"

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Jarvis Cocker

Pavlov's Puppy

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Blok drives by New York City.

Free-Floating Anxiety

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Pavlov's Cat

Regardless children just want to fit in.

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

Mummy Shrink.

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

Burning love

"You have got to want to change."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

"Do you feel you were loved as a tadpole?"

'This definitely calls for group therapy.'

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

Psychiatric Clinic. I'm not sure giving a narcissist an hour a week where it's all about him counts as therapy.

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

"Enough already! You’re depressing me!"

"I don't just want you to give me a raise, I want you to WANT to give me a raise."

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."

Receptionist to patient about psychiatrist: 'Dr. Zwecklos canceled all his appointments for this week - he went off the deep end again.'