Personality Detective Gifts

Personality testing...

Do you enjoy doing silly pop-psychological quizzes or not? Take our quiz to find out.

"She should be good. The capital 'L' shows an extroverted and outgoing personality, the wide 'O' indicates a warm nature, the second 'L' is lively..."

"He gets easily abstracted."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

Motorway of the Self

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

Tonight's Debate. Nature versus Nurture. You believe in heredity over environment? Yep --- I was just born that way.

'Now read that back to me.'

If you were an iceberg...

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

Gloria knows where you've been tonight, Lance. Apparently, that sandwich she made you for lunch contained salami, cheese, lettuce, tomato and a GPS tracker. !! !!

'I've been married 4 times...do you think my resistance is down?'

Psychology 101

'We had the perfect marriage until we took the magazine quiz.'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Hola! Tia Carmen's psychic hotline! Can I tell you where your lousy cheating boyfriend is right now?"

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.