Interpersonal Detective Gifts

'Kurtz isn't so bad until you get to know him.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

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Safety Barriers

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"My aloofness is a mask."

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

'Of course I love her - but I'm not in love with her.'

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'She thinks I'm always trying to put her down, but what does she know?'

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

"You seem calm above the surface, but underneath I feel as if you're paddling like hell away from me."

The world of interpersonal relationships was dealt a blow today when John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, finally came out of the closet. In other news...

'We had the perfect marriage until we took the magazine quiz.'

"Hola! Tia Carmen's psychic hotline! Can I tell you where your lousy cheating boyfriend is right now?"

As an experienced counsellor, she could see that their relationship had been doomed from the start.

'...But I suppose such feelings are normal.'

"You've always been a poor listener Harold."

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'

Information and Still don't get it.

'I've dealt with it - he's sitting on the naughty step thinking about his behaviour.'

"But you really can't trust the media."

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