Emotional Intelligence Detective Gifts

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

University Soapflakes

Large Emoticon Collider

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

Two Rages Passing in the Night

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

The Book Lover

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

Go ahead and dissect me

'I'd like to report a peeping tom.'

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

"I'm not happy."

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

"We added it just for the millenials."

"You can't let the tick birds continue to define you."

"Real men cry these days....."

A stairway leading into a heart leads out from the brain.

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

"My aloofness is a mask."

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

'Look, I know I'm just the bread, but I feel like you guys aren't being emotionally honest with each other and it's going to cause problems down the road.'

"If your emotional intelligence is so high, why do you always forget our anniversary?"

"I'm sorry I lost my temper last night. I've just been on edge since we met."

'Why do I get the feeling you're holding something back?'

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”