Personality Champion Pillows

"Every time I meet an attractive woman, I hear 'you're such a nice guy' and never hear from her again. What do you think is my deal?'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

What Does God Know?

It's A Breeze

"Emotional Support Horses Welcome"

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

Couple

Don't Take No For an Answer

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

Same Sex Wedding

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

Women Have To Choose

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Look on the dark side."

Crazy Straw. Crazy Straw after therapy

The reserved and the go-ers.'

A man forming a heart symbol with his hands

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

"Of course I'm being 'catty'."

'So, who's not a happy bunny?'

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

Down with Negativism!

Psychiatric Centre/Vaccination Centre

Skateboard Olympics.

The Smug Unemployed Monkey

Change your style, learn to smile!

"I like this new sales associate. He's so eager and positive."

Extreme valentine enthusiast.

"Do you promise to love and comfort yourself, on good days and bad, for richer, for poorer, in weight gain and loss, as long as you shall live?"

Celebrity Anorexics

Writer's Block