Personal Time Pillows

'I need to find a balance between my job and my second job.'

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

"Yes, I do need a spa weekend...but I'll settle for some alone time in the treehouse."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"I'm not going to work late tonight, so I can normalize relations with my family!"

Me Time

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"They grow up so fast."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"She's been so creative lately."

Haircuts

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

'She's just great with the children.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

Office pics on dinner table.

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Swinging

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"