Personal Time Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm not going to work late tonight, so I can normalize relations with my family!"

Club Antisocial

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Office pics on dinner table.

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Can that be right?"

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

"I tried being a stay-at-home dad. But I found out that being a stay-at-work dad is far less stressful."

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

Clock watcher

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"You're late."

"I'm resigning so I can spend more time with my wonderful family, here."

"I've seen 'Top Gun,' 'Raw Deal,' 'Short Circuit,' 'Cobra,' 'Invaders from Mars,' 'SpaceCamp,' and 'Wise Guys,' but in August I'm going to join Mary and the kids on the Cape."

'Sir, that efficiency expert you hired called -- he said he'll be five hours late.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"Look on the dark side."

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

The reserved and the go-ers.'

"So we`re going out and you haven`t even bothered to change?"

'Is it all right if I have a snack out of the refrigerator?'

"I don't care that you personalized your work area, but stop yelling 'Howdy, neighbor!' to everyone you see!"

Time for bed

"I'm very good with punctuation."

"Help! Set me free!"

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

Big Ben

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

After working 80 hours a week for 30 years, Raymond was struggling to adjust to retirement.

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."