Personal Struggles Pillows

'Cheer up, Lenny -- We all have our bad decades.'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Great Therapy!'

"We don't talk anymore."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

Wanna talk about it?

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

Prawn Amend

When life gives you lemons...

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"See how controlling he is?!"

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

Unmanned drones.

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

'The marriage counseling session didn't help -- she still claims she never saw me before in her life.'

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

'Right, how can I help you?' 'Your wife is having it off with my husband!'