Personal Hygiene Expert Pillows

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

The Cougher

The Brothers Grime

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Shaving

Queen Kong

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

Wash your hands

New Twenty Blades

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Mom, why do I have to wash both hands? I only eat with one of them.'

Criminal Germs

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

A day in the life of a dish sink

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

"I'm Hygienia, the good witch of the north."