Personal Hygiene Expert T-Shirts

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

The Cougher

The Brothers Grime

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Queen Kong

New Twenty Blades

Wash your hands

You have the worst spring breath.

Shaving

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Mom, why do I have to wash both hands? I only eat with one of them.'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Criminal Germs

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

A day in the life of a dish sink

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

'I'm going to grow a beard when I get older.'