Personal Care Perfectionist Pillows

For those important occasions when he had to look his best, Barry made sure to wear his anti-dandruff fan.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Bullseye!

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Perfection

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"You're welcome."

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"I never go anywhere unprepared!"

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"Baldo, I finally got that stain out of your favorite shirt! Of course, I had to use my scissors."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

Your online profile only lists positive things about you. Of course, a "profile" only shows one side of a person.

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

'He was taller online!'