Personal Accountant Gifts

The Red-Light Accounting District

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

In basket-case.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Profit

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Spot the difference.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.