Perpetual Weigher Gifts

A great day starts when you weigh 2lbs. less than you thought you would.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

Empty Headed Schoolboy

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Sometimes Doris wished that Charlie hadn't stayed so young at heart

'Why do I need to know stuff, when I can look anything up on the internet?'

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"I've learned so much from my mistakes, I've decided to keep making them!"

'I'm 68 years old. I keep waiting to be an adult. How do you know when you're an adult.' 'When snow ceases to be fun!'

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

"How many more years of graduate school support do you need, son?"

Time Scales

'What makes you think you're so smart?'

"Christ! How much further is it to the next rest stop!?!"

"Uh...no, thank you. I'll just stay another four years."

"One truck is over loaded, one is under loaded, and one is just right."

Balancing money against childs education

'Clyde was a late bloomer.'

"Don't breath a word to anyone, but I'm never leaving graduate school."

'I don't have any specific complaints -- could I just stand here and moan a little?'

'My Terry's like a big kid. He's probably playing arcade games somewhere.'

Manchild Crossing

"My plans is to take out a maximum loan, and make sure never to get a job so there's no paying back involved."

'It says here that you've been in college for the last 16 years. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

How Learning Curves Feel....

'A moment of silence? If only that were possible.'

The Sick Man of Europe