Perpetual Motion Fan T-Shirts

Bio Lab. You spliced phoenix DNA into a lemming? What are you trying to make? A perpetual motion machine!

Man running in a hamster wheel

Starvation Watching

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

We got the adult version. Sip 'N Slide.

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

Campaign Trail

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

The curse of Alzheimer's hits home for old aluminium atoms.

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

Perpetual Motion.

After review, the replay confirms a touchdown, and also that big, jiggly bellies look hilarious in slow motion.

Elements

'Elements' sports team

Windsock

Episcopalian Flue Jab.

"And did I mention it was a very quiet neighborhood?"

"Don't get me wrong, Kevin, it's very impressive, but they only know the one dance."

The Peacock Skirt - Whistler's Peacock Room

Elevator Out Of Order

Doppler: coming and going.

"They're binge dating. It's a thing."

Roller Coaster Ski Ramp

"Uh-oh."

Dmitri Mendeleev: 'At the St Petersburg conference, four of my colleagues were standing side by side...'

"My fault! My fault! Too much oil."

Man busking with 'salary cap' on the floor in front of him.