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'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Sunbathing in Autumn

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

Guy on stilts watching a balloon dog lift its leg on his stilts. Balloon animal maker watching on.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

Christmas tree exchange

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

Biting Slippers.

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

Indian summer.

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

Captain Whiteboard. "Darn! I just rubbed the 'X' off."

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."

The clowns are coming!

Someday, the worm will turn.

"Previously on..."

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Window Cleaner asks for help.

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

'I had no choice. He pulled a fork on me.'

"We thought it would be more fun than just walking the plank."

The Moe Howard Installation